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User blog:NexoByte/Not So Ultra Agents, Part 4: Toxikita's Toxic Meltdown
On a helipad in Astoria... Toxikita: Retox, why won't this helicopter start?! Retox: Because, Toxie, I wanted to see if it flew on cream cheese! Toxikita: I ought to un-hench you for that... Retox, vaccuum out the cream cheese and bring the helicopter fuel! Retox: Yes, Toxie. Retox completes the above requests. Toxikita: Retox, get in, and I'll hold on to the- actually, Retox, I'll fly the helicopter and you hold on to the chain! Toxikita super-glues Retox' arm to the chain, gets in the helicopter, and takes off. At the Astor City Research Lab... Scientist: Thank you! Have a nice day! (sigh) Those people who delivered the Pollutonium are so nice... The scientist brings the Pollutonium to the lab. There he sees Curtis Bolt. Curtis: Hi, I know I'm not supposed to be here, but I want to let you know that a helicopter will crash through that wall in about thirty seconds. I know this because I already played through the app. Also, what are these chopsticks for? Scientist: Those aren't chopsticks! Those are analyzing- CRASH! Scientist: -lasers! Curtis: I was wrong, it was nine seconds. Wyldstyle: And entering the Blue Corner is a toxic hemchman and his not-so-toxic master, Retox and Toxikita! Toxikita: Why are YOU mentioned first?! Wyldstyle: I am the minifigure of the week, I predict Toxikita, and FIGHT!! Toxikita: Get him, Retox! Retox: (big inhale) Spamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamsp- Boing! Retox: Look, Toxie, I'm flying! CRASH! Wyldstyle: The helicopter automatically ejected Retox into the back of a waiting police car! Retox is out! Curtis: Excuse me, ma'am, but this is the Astor City Research Lab, not Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid. Wyldstyle: Wait, I'm not supposed to be here! Hey, who's writing this story, anyway?! CRASH! Scientist: No! My fourth wall! Toxikita grabs a random magnet, attracts the Pollutonium, and flies away. Curtis: I'm going back to base. Curtis leaves. Scientist: I never knew that plastic was magnetic... At AntiMatter's Portal Hideout... Terabyte: Oh, I'm not feeding the Sharkanator. I would be breaking the law of physics! BubbleBomber: Sorry, but I can't feed it, either. Psyclone: Then I guess it's up to me. ... CHOMP!! Psyclone: I did it! Toxikita emerges from the portal. Toxikita: I was successful! AntiMatter: EXCELLENT. Toxikita: Um... Psyclone? Why are there teeth marks on your right fan? Psyclone: That's what you get for being awesome. AntiMatter: MUCH OF MY HARD-EARNED MONEY HAS GONE TOWARD SHARK FOOD FOR THE SHARKANATOR. PSYCLONE, I TRUST YOU'LL BE MAKING A WITHDRAWAL? Psyclone: Yes, Master. AntiMatter: BUBBLEBOMBER, I HAVE BEEN RUNNING OUT OF MINIONS. I HAVE MADE YOU YOUR OWN STAFF TO TURN CIVILIANS INTO VILLAINS WITH. BubbleBomber: Thank you, Master! AntiMatter: I WANT YOU TO FIND MORE CIVILIANS. BubbleBomber: Yes, Master. AntiMatter: TOXIKITA, TERABYTE, YOU WILL FEED THE SHARKANATOR. Both: Nooooooooooooo...! Aboard the Galactic Enforcer, somewhere in space... Infearno: Great. I was not captured in the app, yet I am in this story, and my flamethrower suit is confiscated. I'm never getting out of this one. Frenzy: FLAMETHROWER SUIT!!! Infearno: NOOOOOOO! It's the only one I've got! At the Ultra Ag- I mean, Not So Ultra Agents Mission HQ... Solomon: So, Curtis, I found out why you're a Not So Ultra Agent. Curtis: Why? Solomon: Because you didn't do anything at all! Anyway, Professor, I used to be part of the Galaxy Squid- Professor: Um... The Galaxy Squid? I've heard of the Galaxy Squad, but not the Galaxy Squid. Solomon: It's just a parody. Caila: Giant vehicle reported at the Astor Bank in West Village! Jack: Max, do the honors. Max walks into a random dynamite stick. Jack: Thanks, Max! Category:Blog posts